it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
