So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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