You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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