is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
