Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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