Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
