My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
