I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
