No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Of course I have a pirate flag
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
