so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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