We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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