sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
