I bet he comes in French.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
