Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
