fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
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