Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
