Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
