When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
