I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
