Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
