every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
