I'm lost and stupid without you.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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