Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
