The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
