I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
