I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Randomize
