i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
