I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
babies were throwing up all over the place
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
