I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
