i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
