i'm signing you up for texting rehab
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
