I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
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