You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
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