oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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