No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
