Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
