after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
He had one of those small greek statue penises
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
