he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
