walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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