Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
It's blow job season.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
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