Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I deserve this hangover.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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