i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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