I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
