I think my fart just growled at me.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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