Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
