hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
