i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just found puke in my bra..
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
