what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
