She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
