I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like abortions should bother me more
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
My pussy is not your playground.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
