if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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