too bad you live with your parents still
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
